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274 visits
what to do
Jun 23, 2010
I am a mom of 2(one is almost 7 and the other is 6months.) I am married to my husband who has degenerative disk disease in his neck and upper back. He is currently unable to work due to the severity of his DDD. I am a travel CNA. We try to make it off just my income, most of the time we are doing ok, recently all the needs of facilities have dried up and I am down to 2 or 3 days a week of work. Our bills have fallen behind. We are 2 months behind on our water bill and one of our car payments which both are due within 10 days and I have no idea where the funds for either is going to come. Our total bills a month are about 1800 and right now I'm not making enough to cover that. I don't know where to go or what to do. Any help would be appreciated.
May 19, 2010
Sometimes we dont know who we are what to do or what to say.Everything we say and do define who we are.Does`nt matter who others think we are,they might be way off or they hit it right in the money.Whats important is how do you feel inside your heart.What do you see everyday you look in the mirror. Think for a minute,do you like what you see?Are you satisfied with what you got or don`t got.The key is to realize that you were made to walk the path of happiness and rightousness,live a fullfiling and prosperous life,and show it everyday of life and be an example for others to see and to desire that same path. Humbleness- dont think that your the only one or that you are to good or better with or at something.Helpull- despite your problems help others tha are in need not expecting repayment, because you will be compensated in a more fullfiling way.Don`t look back- keep marching forward and don`t be afraid you will do better today than you did yesterday. Trust-learn to trust the person that will always be there.
Jan 18, 2010
We are now on the third week of 2010 and 2009 is behind us, now what? What do we do with this New Year? How can we change it to make it better? Where can I find money or get a job or make sure I have a roof over our heads???
There is still a bunch of question that has not been answered, like I’m still in debt, still looking for a job, still can’t find ways to do things… Right!
Well think of it this way. It’s a fresh beginning of letting go of the old and starting a new. It’s a good year to look forward and really reach for what you are going to do to make it right. Look, I know that a lot of people reading this still don’t have a door open and are baffled by what has happen. But in 2010, you’ve got to be smart about it. You have to look for something better. You have to get out of the rut of not having and start getting.
You have a great beginning for something that is going to make your life and your family’s life better. This is the time of throwing away your old notes about life and start reaching for what you really want instead of trying to find.
One of my 2010 goals is to do the following. I’m going to do more encouragement this year for myself and others. In 2010, I’m going to help those in need reach for their goals and get them motivated to do it right. I’m going to write more powerful articles, messages and notes. I’m going to do more patting of the back, speaking to individual about doing well for themselves. I’m going to help more and get myself a better life.
Look, I’ve been there and done that. I’m lost my home, gone to bad debt, had no money, laid off from my jobs 7 times, I’ve been laughed at and told, I’m never going to make it. But it took personal courage, personal fight and personal victory to get what I have. So if I could do it, so can you.
So fellow readers and followers get out of what you are in and start moving forward. I know you can do it.
Jan 13, 2010
I am a 20 year old male and i have a very important issue that i dont know how to deal with. I have had a fractured C-5 in my neck and i have no insurance and i cant work because of my injury. I have had this injury for a little over 2 years now, but the thing is im starting not to be able to use my arms and leges as well. The doctor told me when it happened if it did'nt heal correctly that i would need surgery..... he also said if something slips and it touches my C-4 i will be permenitly parralized. I cant find any doctors or surgens who will see me because i have no insurrance and i cant afford to pay up front because the injury is preventing me from working.... I need help in some way possible. What is there for me to do that you know of?
Sep 4, 2008
hi, I need advice, my sister has not relied on herself or her husband to provide thier way in life since they have been married they have lived off of the family and the government. The problem with them relying on family started when they got in trouble with the law so they were kicked off of section 8 they lost the home they were in and almost lost thier kids. Her husband didnt work for five years, just because. He is a young 29 year old man and is fully capible of working but choose not to. Now that they got kicked off assistance he had to get a job but lost it for several reasons including not coming in and loosing his temper. My husband and I put up a deposit to get in the rental they are currently living in and paid 2 months rent for them we also put a 3,000. down on a car for them but they lost it 3 months later for not paying the payments. My mother and other sister have paid the electric bill several time and I have paid the phone bill since they have lived there a little over a year. Now he has no job they are needing even more money for the rent, electric, food and phone I have helped with rent, phone and giving them money here and there, but I am so tired of forking out money. They both sleep until 1-2 in the afternoon and he has been out of work for 7 weeks now. Its getting hard to feel sorry for him. His family has nothing to do with him he already burnt that bridge, so he cant turn to them for help. I have made a desision to not give them anymore money. I feel that its hurting them more then helping. My sister and I are very close and I love her to pieces and Im not sure how to help anymore so if anyone out there knows what to do please help!!!
Aug 31, 2008
Where to even begin. Well my wife and I both had pretty good paying jobs. My wife has since had 2 back surgeries and is no longer able to work. Her back problem is only the tip of the iceburg of the problems she has faced in her life. She has been in and out of hospitals starting at 6 yrs old.
Well here is where the problems begin. I quit my job to start up my own business (a mobile oil change) which I had done a ton of research on before jumping into. Great concept. We come to you at your location. Well I knew it was going to be slow starting out, but I had about $60,000 in my 401k. I started up my business and my wife had to stop working. Well we have a lot of bills between the 2 of us. I figured we would be okay because the business was going to take off and I could always get a part time job as well. Well business has been awful and we have gone through the entire 401k in 7 months. Starting up the business and paying all of our bills with my wife out of work was more then I had bargained for.
The medical bills are piling up and I CAN NOT have a lapse in our insurance or my wife will not be covered for all the pre-existing conditions she has. She has applied for disabilty, but of coarse was denied. We talked to a lawyer who said, being only 39 and having a degree would hurt her chances of getting the disability. We are trying to appeal it, but this could take years.
My job search has been going on for 3 months now. I finally landed a job I will be starting in about 2 weeks, but the pay is a joke. Mainly taking it for the benefits before my cobra insurance runs out. We have sold a bunch of our stuff on Craigslist and e-bay already and not sure what we are even going to do about rent that is due tomorrow. Our bank account is in the minus.
I feel like a total failure to my wife and our families. This is my fault for starting up this business. Both of our vehicles are about to be repossesed and if we can't get rent, not even sure whats going to happen. We went from about $100,000 a yr to pretty much $0.
I am not writing this for sympathy or pity. I just needed to get this off my chest and talk about this. I have to much pride to talk to my family. They don't have the money anyway, but I think I am afraid of the told you so's. Her family trusted me to take care of their daughter and I screw everything up. I am a former Marine for Christ sake. I should be able to deal with this. I have found myself having total breakdowns when I know my wife is not around. We will only be married 1 yr Sept 20th.
I think what is getting us through all this right now is our dogs. We have 2 boxers. Had to put our 3rd one down a couple months ago. At least they bring smiles to our faces everyday.
I am not looking for handouts, just some advice or maybe someone to talk too.
Aug 8, 2008
My wife & I both lost our jobs at the same time unexpectedly. Our car got stolen all at the same time. Rents late we have one week to pay it, with a four-year old son, off in a city were we have no relatives or familly support. We've tryed alot of things but none were successful. Even if we wanted to leave we don't have a car, thats makes it very hard to drive back to our home towns with any of our stuff. What are some things that I can do, to get help so, that I can get tru this week.
Aug 7, 2008
There is a common bound that I’m reading from everyone about how we all have piles of bills that we can’t keep under control. And each time we think we have them in control, something happens and here we go again.
But what I’ve learned is you can’t let bills get you down. You can’t stress over something that has no meaning. It’s just a bill.
Now, there are three types of bills that I see with everyone. Bills that help keep your life running, bills that we create to get something in the now and bills that you have to have in order for you to fix something or repair something.
Two of those bills you can’t control but one of those bills you can. You can’t control bills that keep your life running or something that has to be fixed. But bills that you create, you can stop to those.
Now emotional feelings about bills, we all have them, whither your young or old. But how you look at a bill is the way that a bill should be treated. Never, never in your life should you get down about a bills, it should not stress you. You should not get to the point where all you do is think about them. A bill will always be in your life as long as you want or need something. A grocery bill is paid in the now as for an electric bill you pay later.
If you feel attached to a bill it’s because you are not valuing what is on the bill. You are valuing what you’ve purchased with the bill to create it. Let’s look at the key issue here. A bill is a notice of what is owed for the purchased of some product or item or service that you have. It’s a way to see what you bought and what you owe for that. Once you can understand that, you will see your bill in a different light.
Let me explain something to you about a bill, you and no one else only create bills. You are the one who wants that item or service, so you’ve created that. Now, it’s a little shocking to some people but that is the truth. It’s shocking because when you bought it or what ever you did to get the bill, it is your doing. A lot of people think that it just comes to them but it had to come from somewhere and that is you.
Now, before any bill is paid or looked at. You need to ask yourself some questions. Such as, what was the bill for? Did that product or service create value to your life? Could that item wait for a later time? Why did you need that item? Was there another option in your life to get that item? How can you pay this bill off quickly?
You have to ask yourself these questions in order to help you understand where it’s coming from. Why are you dealing with this every day? Why does it come to you?
Take a deep breath and notice your understanding of what a bill is. Take a moment to think of what the bill means to you and how you go it. What it stands for and what it took to get there. That’s to you.
It can be confusing and also, emotional at times. If you become emotional in a bill, it’s because of the tie of what happen with it before it got to that point. What you had to deal with and what you did before you got that bill. Sometimes we have no control of the immediate situation of the problem but sometimes we do.
Emotions are a key value of what comes when something affects you. An emotion is a way your mind is trying to understand what is going on at the time. Emotions are a release from the mind in the matter at the time. So you need to feel a good feeling when you get the bill. Looking at it and understanding a bill can help with your emotions when you get a bill in hand.
I always tell people that you should never feel bad about a bill that you get. If you do feel bad, it’s because the service or the product that you bought was not for the right reasons. If the feelings make you feel uncomfortable, it’s because you bought it at a whim and not for good purpose or use in your life.
That brings me to the point that you should never, never get emotional or stressed when you see a bill comes in, never, never get over emotional with the bill in hand. You must that that it’s just that and that is a bill.
Always, always pay your bills in order of what is important to you in your life. Pay them in a way that your basic are taken care of and what will make your life comfortable for you. By doing so, it keeps your emotions in check and it also let you continue your life just right.
At one point of my life, I would have 20 bills coming to me a month. But I would start stressing because I kept paying attention to bills that I should have put at the end instead of the begging. Remember that bills should always be in the order that will take care of basic first. That is hard to do when you have so many bills and everyone want their money yesterday.
But when I learned that I needed to pay basics first and then kept my needs under control. Everything worked out fine. But I also had to step back to learn where they were coming from and why I did that. I learned that, without bills, I could not have the comfortable life that I was searching for. I learned that I knew what my needs were and what they were not. It took time and understanding of myself before I could move on with what a bill was for.
It was shocking and I did have to make a lot of adjustments but I learned and conquered. It is said that on an average Americans have about 12 bills they have to pay per month and half of them are not necessary. It was items they bought just because. I flew in the category but I learned.
So remember, you create bills, you can control your bills and yes you can pay without a bill. You are in control not the bill. So, don’t stress and get them in control. It can happen and you will do good.
All of us have some type of bill. Whither it’s electric bill, credit card bill or grocery bill.
And a lot of us think that when we get a bill, it’s just a bill that we have, right? Wrong. Bills are not bills. There are two types of bills that we all have, one type of bill is called essential bill and the other is called non-essential bill. Let’s talk about the differences of these bills.
Before we go any further. I want to explain that, we all have different needs because of where we are in society. Sometimes it’s the people that surrounds us or because we support a family or what our world is like and treating us. When I speak about bills. Some essential bills can become non-essential bills and non-essential bills can become essential bills. But this is where you come in.
On a piece of paper, list all the bills that you have. I’m not saying to put a total to it. Just list it. Then take another piece of paper and draw a line in the middle of the paper. On the top in one column write Essential Bill and the other column write Non-Essential Bill. So you should have two pieces of paper, one with all your bills listed and the other with the two columns on it.
Let me define the bills. Essential Bills, that is something that will keep your basic living and personal growth going in life. These bills will always be with you no matter what you do in life. They are the bills that keep a comfort level with you and allow you to live a descent life. These are bills that whither you make no money or a lot money. You must pay. This is the reason why you work.
Non-Essential Bills, these are bills that you and are not necessary for you to pay. These bills should be and always will be temporary payment of some sort. These bills should have a timetable and should go away at some point in your life. You should never develop a list of these bills. Never because this is the reason why people keep working until the end of their lives because they keep paying non-essential bills.
Here is a list of essential bills. Now some people might have more depending on where they are in life. Remember that more may be added and some bills can be taken off. That is up to you but this will give you a basic understand on how bills stand at. Later I will list non-essential bills. Your essential bills are Electric bill, home gas bill, phone bill, grocery bill, medication bill, water bill, car gas bill, home insurance bill, car insurance bill, personal items bill, home maintenance bill and cleaning supplies bill for the home.
Your non-essential bills are credit card bill, phone bill, cable bill, car payment bill, mortgage, etc..
I lot of people argue with me on the non-essential bills list. Let me explain my position, if you are paying from something that is going to take years to pay off. It’s a non-essential bill. Because the interest is high on it or you are paying for something that should have been bought with cash right away. Now, I’ve made that mistake several times myself and I learned that, why am I charging for something I should have bought right off the bat. It’s like wasting money. Never use Credit Card. The interest alone can kill you and your wallet. So don’t do this. Yes you can avoid them. You’ve done it when you were young. You never had a credit card but you were able to buy what you wanted. Because you learned to save, save for the bike or new outfit. You still have those skills. We adults for get them when we grow up. But the skills are still there. You might have to think that way again. Yes, you can do it.
Cable bill is entertainment; you should not live on this type of entertainment. Did you know that the average American home spend about $125.00 a month on the cable bill, that $1,500.00 per year. Having cable on the TV is useless because when American’s watch TV they spend the majority of time watching only 4 channels and 99% of the time they are watching basic channels. $1,500.00 you can pay a lot of things off with this amount. If entertainment is what you need, watch your basics TV, read a book, spend the time with family and friends, sleep. We are all sleep deprive, take a walk.
Phone bill, now I have this on both list. One phone is a necessary and one is not necessary. Let me explain. Many years ago, I got a cell phone and a land phone. They both worked fine and I like having both. But as time progressed, my land phone never rang. I thought there is a problem. I was giving everyone involved with me my cell phone and never my land phone. For two years my land phone just sat there and I was wasting and throwing that money away every month. I know I had to stop this, so I did. Now I only have one phone and one number. That is all that is needed.
Car payment & mortgage, these bills take a long time to pay off but it can be done. I put them on the non-essential list because even though they take years to pay off and they do provide some type of value. But the value does not start until you pay them off. They can be paid off. The loan to this money is temporary not permanent. You must think of these bills as that. By thinking that way, you will be able to pay them off quicker than you think.
When it comes to essential bills, no matter how hard you fight it. You must have them if you want a comfortable life. You must keep cool in the summer, and warm in the winter. You have to do something to cook your meals or have freedom to feel good. Now these bills can be kept in control and you can do that but you have to figure out what is comfortable to you. I keep my thermostat at 75 year round some people 80. What ever you think is comfort.
I wanted to point this out because people don’t understand the difference of what is needed and what is not needed. This is a guide to help you understand of what you have to pay. Remember to work for what is essential in your life and what is not. By do so, you will have money to play with, save and able to buy for what you want. It’s all about cash.
Jul 28, 2008
I found out my girlfriend was pregnant and i was happy but she felt she couldn't cause me problems so left and then i found out it may or may not be mine i still love her and we have talked it out she says she wants to be with me but is with her family right now. My family doesn't like her and it bothers me very little but it bothers her i am goign to be doing a second job so i can get a place and i told her if she wants to be with me she can cause i want to be with her too. or if not i want to be friends and i even said i don't care if the baby is mine or not i will accept it and love it as if it is mine and i'm waiting for answer for she is at her granmothers where she don't get singual for her cell she says. Everyone says i'm an idiot for letting her back in my life even though she did cheat once on me..but the other maybe fathers, mostlikly not them were before we meet bad thing is i first meet her on june 18th. I know what happened is wrong and her getting pregnant but i take responibly for it and i just need to know if i am going at it all wrong.
Jun 7, 2008
Hello, My Name is Joel, I'm posting this for my son, His grandfarher was paying the rent, he passed away today 6/7/08, my son lives with his mother, now they are unable to afford the rent, his mother is disabled so she is looking for an apartment for herself, do to her disability she is only able to get one bedroom government apartment , and unable to have anyone live with her,so it leaves my son without a place to go, i'm in the same situation as his mother, my heartaches I don't what to do, I can't leave him without a place to go, well for what it's worth I need help for him, I'm trying to figure something out, I would like to see a home for my son. Thank You for any consideration, I LOVE SON with all my Heart
Thank You,
Joel
Apr 3, 2008
I just recenctly had my second child. It was a wonderful time until I realized I was with out work. I am not a charity case I want to work and I will be back at work wiht in the next month I just will have no place to live in the mean time I am late on the rent and looking to get kicked out of my appartment that has been my childrens home for the past 4 years. I have always made sure that things were taken care of but I was not expecting my childrens father to walk out on us and leave me after a c- section holding the bag. I have never really wanted to ask for help but I am at a loss. What am I to do??? I know that god doesthings for a reason but this is more that I can handle.
